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Happy New Year!!! hehehe… yeah. So I’ve been gone a while… you’ve noticed. You’ve questioned me, harassed me, some of you have even stopped coming to this site. Does the fact that it hasn’t been updated in six months make it any less relevant? I say no!

So here I am again, and as if I never went away, I am once again procrastinating. It just wouldn’t be right any other way. With that statement, many could be asking “Chris, has nothing changed?” The short answer would be no, and being as I am a very lazy man, I would normally be apt to give that answer.

However, as I am currently putting off reading 70 more pages in “Black Mass” for Ken’s class, I will give the more in-depth answer of no. You see, it isn’t that things haven’t changed, it’s just that indeed, the more things change, the more they stay the same. For instance- I am in a relationship with Mary. While this may be no new thing, we also broke up. Now, had I updated on December 7, 2001, this page would have said that I was single until the update of March 4, when in fact, the single period ended on December 18, 2001. This could have had disastrous effects on both my relationship, which was on the mend, as well as the scores of would-be heartbroken women who had been led to believe that I was available. Sally comes to mind.

However, that would not have been the only problem. Perhaps I would have posted an angry reaction to my pal Curtis’ semi-forced removal from staff. I could have written an expletive-laden update directed towards University Housing in regards to both Curtis and the creator of the wonderful picture of my selves above, Chris Wells. Perhaps I would have posted something about my desire to find a way for the RAs at the University of Oregon to organize, a la those at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. Oh wait, that update may yet come…

But those are currently cold topics on my mind, waiting to be stoked at a later date.  I’ll have to weigh the amount of trouble I could get in for simply exercising my 1st amendment rights. Anyhow, it should be an interesting update.

As far as other happenings in the life of Chris, yes, me and Mary are once again happily together, and we celebrated our sixth month together just a week ago, on February 26. Don’t bother me about the math, we don’t count the earlier break up. In other news, it is now official, in case you couldn’t tell, that I will not be returning as an RA next year. I have decided to take the high road, and get out while I am still at least as sane as I was when I came in to the job. This will mean that I will be living off campus this summer, as well as next year, in a yet to be determined place with yet to be determined people. I am looking forward to the change, and it should dramatically lower my stress level, although I’ll have to work more.

In more recent news, it looks as though I will be going to Oakland to see Paul McCartney with Lauren on or about April 1. That is, of course, if we can find tickets. It will be a challenge, but it’s probably my last chance to see a Beatle live that’s not Ringo. After all, if my theory is correct, Ringo will never die. (Rest in Peace, George) In addition to the concert, we will be in town at the same time that the Major League Baseball season starts, so I’ll force Lauren to watch the A’s kill the Rangers in the season opening series. It should be an awesome road trip, if it happens.

But it remains to be seen if that will indeed take place. I am also planning on going to the Redwoods and several other attractions in northern California and Southern Oregon with my family over Spring Break. That should be awesome, especially since I’ll actually get to see stuff this time, unlike last summer’s late night/early morning jaunt down to (What’choo talkin’ bout) Willits with Mary and Christina. It’ll be nice to get to spend a period of time longer than an afternoon with my family for once, which is also a plus about not being on staff next year… OK, enough with my work frustrations.

Summer Update

Summer is again upon us and with it this page once again finds itself the focus of a major update. If you’re a frequent visitor (and I know there’s more than Peter and myself), you have probably noticed what has become a long period of inactivity on this site. I won’t go into the drawn-out “I really meant to update” excuse that I would normally use, rather I will simply skip over it. You know, like the details in a Reader’s Digest condensed book, or the period in George W’s life between ages 16 and 45. It’s really not that important anyway.

The important thing is that yet another year of college has passed by, with it another year of my life, as I have turned 21 since my last update. (Insert your own excuse for my online absence here.) I made it through last term relatively unscathed, earning an A and two Bs while also surviving my final week as an RA on Ham Staff 2000-2001. Even though I once again had to force myself to stay up in excess of 40 hours as the end of the term neared.

After all- what would college be without the end of the term procrastinator’s test of manhood? Oh well. With all the idiocy that comes in saving a final paper (which I had a week to write) for the last ten hours of the term, I managed to earn an A on the paper itself (my third such A paper in two terms, I might add). In all, I must say that I’m rather proud of my grades this term. After all, it is only the second time in my life that I’ve earned a 3 point. I am so smrt.

In other news, my life on summer staff has officially started. So far I’ve taped meal cards and handed out blankets to people. In other words, they may as well be paying me to live at the mission. But hey- they’re paying me, so there’s no complaints here. Aside from that, there really hasn’t been much going on with me in the past couple of weeks. I’ve moved across campus, but with that nothing has really changed aside from my phone number and where I put my TV. I did buy some new furnishings, but I’ll be damned if I spend more than a sentence talking about my splendid new entertainment center and poster frames.

As for this coming week, I’ll be going home Wednesday to travel to Seattle with my family and watch the Oakland A’s kill the Mariners. In the process, I’m hoping to get the Mustang insured so I can bring it down to Eugene for a month or so and actually get some use out of the roughly $500 that was spent getting it to run. While I’m in McMinnville, I hope to see some people who I’ve inadvertently been ignoring for the past month. In addition, I will be wishing my brother a happy 13th birthday, as I don’t think I’ll be around for his actual birthday, July 2nd.

That will have to be it for this update. In the coming week I hope to have several new pictures online, including the infamous “swollen lip” shots, which I have now had developed. Watch this page and all attached, as this should be a week of updates. In the meantime, farewell.

Another round of midterms and another sleepless night for which I will pay the rest of the week. Its been two days now and I’m still a wreck. Alas, the paper was completed and handed in for what will probably be a B. Was it worth it? Based on my state of mind at the moment, hell no. But then again, one tends to be of a rather negative state of mind at 12:50am on a Thursday morning when you’ve been longing for the soft comforting arms of sleep for the previous three hours. I mean, tonight I felt as though I should have been waiting for the lasted “Diagnosis Murder” or a “Matlock” rerun- whatever all the septuagenarians are watching these days. You start to see things from a whole new perspective when you can relate to those who normally shuffle off to bed before the sun has entirely set. I suppose that I could continue to equate how I am feeling to the everyday plight of the elderly, but I feel that my comments have run their course and I would only be alienating what I’m sure is a very key demographic for this magical page.

Anyway… So you may have noticed that I haven’t updated in about a month. This wasn’t intentional, but while updating a few weeks ago, I became distracted by the fact that my computer was no longer functioning. Long story short, I was forced to reformat my hard drive and in the rush of the following week, my update was lost in the attempt to return my computer to its former glory. In the end, everything is once again working, but I’m about 500 mp3s short of what I had.

Needless to say, a few things have happened since my last update. First, it’s official that I will once again be a member of Ham Staff. Also in that category, it is official that I will be an RA in the Earl complex this summer, marking the first time that I will be spending a summer away from McMinnville- ever. I never went to camp or anything as a child, so I’m counting the days until I have a meltdown and start calling my parents twice nightly. It should be ok, as many of my friends will be staying here as well. It’ll just be different. Nonetheless, I am excited at the prospect of having a new room in about a month. Summer staff Hoo Rah! Or rather, hoo RA. I know that was horrible- just bear with me.

Also in the past two weeks, I have run for and promptly lost my bid for College Dems co-chair, which is OK I suppose. If there is any consolation, its that I was told by most who were present that I had the best speech, the most clear ideas, and had all the new people voted, I probably would have won. All of this begs the question of if I was so great, why didn’t I win in the first place? I have my own not-so-popular theories as to why this is the case, but I’ll choose to take the high road for now and not attack the person who has described my candidacy as a “coup” to one Dems member who was not present to vote. All this considered, everything is not lost. Upon losing my bid for chair, I promptly ran for and won the position of treasurer, which is great and all, but it kind of leaves me with the same taste in my mouth as would “Everyone Gets A Trophy Day.” But I guess it comes with the territory- after all, I’m not a woman.

School, Songwriting

Hmm… I know that about two months ago I promised to update more often. After two months and four updates, we can all see exactly how well that promise has turned out. Perhaps I shouldn’t say too many things during my presidential campaign. Apologies for my lack of timeliness aside, it has been a good month.

School should go relatively well this term, which is good since last term didn’t go as well as I would have hoped, and the non-school aspects of life are also going quite well at the moment. Mary actually got me out on a dance floor a few weeks ago, though exactly whose date I was could be left for debate. Anyhow, I attended the first dance lesson of my life one Friday night at Gerlinger “dancing” swing. I felt kinda bad because she actually had some shred of talent, so after about two and a half hours of both lessons and open dance, I stepped off to the side with the other mutants and watched the real people dance.

After about a half hour of doing that I walked back to Hamilton with Josh, where we met up with Peter Boss, Curtis, and Taka to commence song writing for our new project, “Sexshun 14.” We didn’t complete any songs that night, ut it was nice to gauge the group chemistry and observe the creative genius that is Sexshun 14. Not to mention that we made great strides in completing our first song- “51 Feet Away,” which is now in its final stages.

In the time since, I have spent a lot of time both working and trying to regulate my second floor, which seems to think that I give up easily… mwah-hahaha!!!! However, in the extra time that I have spent in my hall I’ve gotten to know some of my residents better, which is cool. Oh yeah, and I’ve learned what an annoyance to some my very presence can be. Oh yes, my life as an RA is so far good.

I could go on about sorts of other things that have happened in the past month, but I would be writing forever, creating yet another VERY large update. I won’t do this. Rather, I will spend that time updating and creating other pages to complete this site and detail the various adventures that I have had in the past month. Stay tuned for updates on the Music, Adventures & Friends, Sports, Biography, and Writings pages. But for now, good day.

Christmas Shopping

I am back in McMinnville for the next week or so and I once again find myself a participant in the “Holiday Rush.” Why exactly I do this, I’m not sure, but it is a yearly event. Oh well, I’ll try not to dwell on it. I arrived home Tuesday night, shortly after passing the Hamilton Complex pager to Curtis in what seemed to me a rather unceremonious fashion. I guess that that was ok, as I was soon on my way home. Upon arrival, I unpacked and proceeded to play with my Mustang. The battery was dead though, so I charged it for the second time in three months of sitting (might be time for a new battery). After watching the engine compartment for about a half hour, Josh and I took it for a nice little uninsured drive around the neighborhood. It drove very well after the engine was warm, though it still smoked =(. Even with the nice blue smoke, I miss driving it and plan on looking into getting some sort of limited-mileage insurance sometime next week so I can drive it when I want, or when I am feeling particularly pathetic and single.

Wednesday was spent more or less lounging. I watched some TV, but overall this was a day of triumph spent watching the History Channel and reading from “The Great Shark Hunt”. Thursday was spent paying more attention to my car, only this time it was the BMW. I changed some fluids, fixed a few connections and replaced light bulbs. Basically, all the petty repairs that had to be made in order to get all of the annoying red warning lights to turn off. Later in the evening I went out with Bambi and Erin, where we caught up on our respective lives and listened to the idiot high schoolers in the booth next to ours at Shari’s yell about various minority groups. Oh, how I love McMinnville.

Friday was my first full day as a holiday shopper. After getting my hair cut at 9:00am, I drove to Lake Oswego where I picked up Mary and proceeded to spent the day Christmas shopping. That was… well, an adventure. We actually had quite a bit of fun, and I got to bug her about her choice of stocking stuffers (which I cannot disclose at this time, as it is not yet Christmas). We spent time wandering around both Fred Meyer and Washington Square, where we dined among many bitter, tired looking people at McDonald’s. Actually, there was only one guy who looked especially tired with life, but he looked VERY tired, so that constitutes my generalization of the entire McDonald’s crowd. During the course of the day, she made fun of me allot, and I fought back, prompting several apologies from the two of us. In addition to those times, there was also an alarming number of very domestic moments such as appliance shopping in Sears, and a comforting hand rub that she deemed a bit too “wifey.” After driving and wandering for about five and a half hours, I took her home and proceeded to return to McMinnville, where I had dinner and met up with Payne, as Brandon now wishes to be called.

Payne and I proceeded to do more Christmas shopping, as we did today as well. Unfortunately, he was the only one to actually buy anything. I kept finding stuff to buy myself (The Godfather Trilogy, a DVD player, U2’s new album, etc.) but was halted by the fear of buying something that was on my wish list. My parents told me to skip them, but that probably won’t happen, and I was only able to get half of what I was looking to get for my brother. Payne bragged allot about the Playstation 2 that he was able to get without being on a waiting list at Toys R Us, and I got to look at a few of his games, which made me very jealous. I want a Playstation 2.

Tonight marks my last evening of my relative freedom in Eugene until my return sometime after the New Year. One would assume that this would be an occasion spent doing something away from the room that will soon become my cell, but no, I am updating my website. You have to admit that there’s a certain amount of dedication in the act of one man sacrificing his own freedom for the sake of his website. OK, maybe it’s not exactly like that (I was previously sitting in my room listening to James Iha, Elliott Smith and Extreme while eating sugar cookies and cursing my sore neck). Yeah, it’s sad and pathetic, but what do you expect? I’ve had roughly 12 hours of sleep since Tuesday. Of course that doesn’t explain the neck, but I’m not sure what brought that on. Vanessa has a theory, but this is a family web site. Maybe it’s the cold- I am aging rapidly after all.

The past few days, while tiring, were very good. Mary came down on Tuesday and we proceeded to hang out most of the day. Later we went to dinner at Maple Garden, where I had a lot of fried rice. Following dinner, I rushed off to work where I proceeded to walk around campus with Thomas until 2:00am. Wednesday was spent doing pretty much the same thing as Tuesday, hanging out with Mary, talking listening to music and otherwise preparing for her imminent departure. I bade her farewell and went to work at 8:00.

Work was as work usually is, and I returned to my room at around 2:00am to find a strange woman on my bed listening to MP3s (Mary). It turns out that her van died on I-5 somewhere just south of Albany. She stood on the side of the freeway until some nice car full of men picked her up and helped her out. The van was towed back to Eugene, and Mary was officially stranded for the time being. I felt bad in a way about the van, but it was also kinda cool that I’d get to see her a while longer. Thursday morning was spent doing stuff related to Mary’s van: Chris’ official diagnosis of the problem (alternator belt), having the van towed to Lithia Dodge, getting it in for service. Somewhere in there we had breakfast at Burger King, which was actually a first for me. Hours went by and it became apparent that Mary would not be going home, as Lithia had closed without finishing the van. I know, a tragedy, but in the meantime I had the company of a cute brunette.

Thursday night marked the beginning of my Hamilton Complex duty, so in other words, we were trapped in my room. At around 7:00 Nora came down and suggested that we get dinner. Her and Mary went out in search of Mary’s Lyon’s chicken strips and some Chinese dish from Maple Garden, while I stayed home to shower and wait for the pizza that Nora and I had ordered. The rest of the evening was spent getting the mother of all backrubs from Nora and watching, in order, Monty Python’s “Life of Brian”, the Powerpuff Girls, Letterman, and yes, the Mickey Mouse Club. (shudder) Actually, that was kind of cool due to the presence of the two creepy old guys. I’m not sure, but it looked a bit suspect…

I wasn’t quite as tired Thursday night, thanks to several scattered naps throughout the day, but I think that we actually managed to go to bed before 4:30am for the first time all week. This was good as I was awoken by Nora knocking on my door at 9:30 in search of her shoes. If I hadn’t gotten more than four hours of sleep, I might have been angry. instead, I was only slightly dazed. By this morning Mary’s van was done (er, finished) and we finally parted ways at around 2:00. So far I haven’t heard from her, but I assume that everything is going well.

As stated earlier, my freedom will leave me tomorrow at 5:00 when I officially become a slave to University Housing until Tuesday at 5:00. As far as I know, Vanessa is still coming over to have dinner and watch movies, so being confined to my room shouldn’t be that bad. For the time being, I’ll get back to what every good American does on his day off- writing a reaction to the 2000 presidential race for Saturatedpratt.

Now that winter vacation is upon us, it seems as though fall term 2000 went by in a matter of weeks… say, ten. OK, so maybe that’s an exaggeration, but this fall has certainly had its share of ups and downs. Right now, however, I must say that it’s on an upswing- for me anyway. To begin with, the residents of Dunn Hall have gone home, or at least somewhere other than here. Don’t get me wrong- I love my residents, well, most of them,

but it’s nice to rest in quiet solitude from time to time. Second, I have emerged from finals week relatively successful- or at least not as horribly as I could have. **—Chris’ stream of thought is suddenly interrupted by a flood of emergency vehicles speeding down Franklin—** I wonder where they are all going? Oh well. On to other news…

So I suppose that the lights and sirens really weren’t THAT distracting, or maybe they were… you’ll never know, and that’s what makes this fun. You see, I could have that short of an attention span, or I could simply be bored with calm reflection on the term. Either way, I’m moving on.

As alluded to earlier, I am now currently one of four residents of Dunn Hall- which, in a way, is very nice. It’s great- I can play my music loud without feeling like a hypocrite, I can be gone constantly without one iota of regret, and I get to eat out of cans! Well, I suppose that the meal situation isn’t necessarily stellar, but I do get to test the nutritional limits of Chef Boyardee Ravioli, Chili Dogs, and toast. In my spare time, I’ve been watching movies and procrastinating the update of this website. This weekend was, as a whole, quite uneventful. Friday night was spent with my staff, wishing everyone a good vacation and eating a cheeseburger and tomato soup at the Glenwood. Later that night Mary, Josh, Curtis, Jessie, Pete, Cassie and I asserted our dominance of the Hamilton Complex by watching “Clerks” on the big screen in the basement. As these things usually go, Pete (boss Peter, not Peter Boss) eventually shot Josh and Curtis as Mary and I attempted to dodge the fire. We were both eventually hit, but I believe Jessie escaped without injury. Cassie had already left, which leads me to believe that she was in on the whole thing. And to think- I had just given her a ring and professed my undying love to her. Oh well- I guess that all women are the same.

Saturday was spent shopping in preparation for Vanessa’s birthday, and yes, watching movies. After wrestling with the crowds at VRC and Albertson’s, I retired to my room to watch my two latest purchases, “American Movie,” and “Three Kings.” Both were very good, as was my celebratory first microwaved chili dog of winter break. Later I wrapped Vanessa’s gift and went to the birthday dinner at Red Robin. My second cheeseburger of the weekend was quite good, as was the decidedly birthday atmosphere at the restaurant. I say birthday atmosphere because there was no way in hell you could escape the birthday chanting from the Red Robin employees. I think that everyone was equally mortified when the birthday merriment made its way to our table, and the blame was to be placed squarely on Vanessa- first for being born on December 9th, and second, for ordering the drink that informed the waitress that it was in fact her birthday.

After dinner, we went back to her apartment where we proceeded to watch the Kids In The Hall tape that I bought for her. She seemed to like my gift, which was good, but the evening ended fairly early for me, as Vanessa left with her roommate to go out to a bar. Realizing that I was not yet 21, I retired to my room where I proceeded to go to bed. Sunday is a blur… I more or less sat in my room all day, then I went to work. Monday was more of the same, except I cleaned my room and talked on the phone for a while. Later today I should be receiving a visit from Mary- she says it’s to get stuff that she forgot- I say that she loves me. Later, I’ll go to work. I anticipate the rest of the week having more of the same- I’ll work at night when I can, and I go on duty Thursday. This weekend should be cool- I’ll be on duty and confined to my room, but Vanessa has pretty much committed to keeping me company.

As for this site, look for wholesale updates this week, with new material on the writings page (nothing that exciting, mainly assignments for class), an updated bio, good & bad list, and much, much more. That’s about it for now- I’m aiming to for at least one for addition to this page before I go home on the 19th. For now, it’s bedtime.

November; Sickness

Aw yes… The holidays are upon us, which invariably means that Chris is once again battling some form of bronchitis. It seems that whenever I am ready to jam myself full of turkey and stuffing, whether it be Thanksgiving or Christmas, I find myself confined to the sofa sipping from a glass of water and taking in whatever holiday marathon is taking place on The Learning Channel. This Thanksgiving it was “Junkyard Wars.” It was pretty cool because this team of fat, British bikers turned a Land Rover into an amphibious vehicle, kicking the crap out of a Royal Navy Team. When I saw them, I couldn’t help but think back to an old Monty Python skit advertising the hip new “Royal Nayvee” (Which, by no cannibalism, I mean that there’s a certain amount). It made me laugh, which unfortunately hurt a lot.

Aside from TLC, I also watched my fair share of Comedy Central- which was nice since we don’t have it here in Eugene. I loaded up on SNL repeats and The Daily Show when whatever was on TLC or the History Channel didn’t interest me.

Unfortunately, this meant that I spent almost every waking moment of the two days that I was in McMinnville sitting in front of the television- save for the hour or so that I spent at the doctor’s office getting prescriptions for stuff that would make me not want to get out of bed for days.

But it wasn’t all bad, I did get to clean my Bimmer and see my family, so that was cool. I just would have liked to be able to leave the house, or at least eat. I arrived back in Eugene Friday night, at which time I cleaned my room a little, watched “The Perfect Storm” in Curtis’ room and retired to bed where I stayed until roughly noon. Saturday was spent driving around Eugene visiting many, many thrift stores and a guitar shop with Vanessa. Our goal was to find a petticoat for her to wear under her gorgeous new dress for her mother’s wedding. Though we stopped at more stores than I can count, our mission ultimately proved unsuccessful. She still tried on the dress for me, and yes, she still looked beautiful- even without the extra poofiness that a petticoat would have provided. We were out until about 6:30, when I had to come back to my room for duty. It was good timing too as I made it back just as our steak had hit the Red Devil Grill (The Ultimate Outdoor Kitchen) over on the Watson porch. I proceeded to have a delicious steak dinner with Pete, Josh, Curtis, Roland, and Taka. Vanessa was there too, but she didn’t really eat, so she doesn’t count. The food was good, we made a lot of jokes, and it was the first real meal that I had had in a few days, so I was happy.

The next day was spent laying in bed until about noon, when my election coverage intake was interrupted by Mary and Jen, who were coming to make sure that I had been taking my medication and drinking plenty of water. They proceeded to make me drink water out of an empty Weinhard’s root beer and choke down my huge pills. While that wasn’t very pleasant, it was reassuring to know that they would prefer that I not die. The rest of the afternoon was spent lounging around my room with an assortment of people, including Mary, Jen, Peter, and Patrick until I decided that showertime is traditionally before 3:00. Eventually, I emerged from my room to pick up Cassie from the train station. It was the first time all day that I had actually left my room, so that felt good. Besides- Cassie is a sweetheart, so I had to.

Cassie and I returned to my room where we watched The Simpsons with Mary, Peter, and Kayla. This was eventually interrupted by over five cop cars outside Hamilton, but that’s another story. Once we were done standing in the cold, inhaling pepper spray, I followed through on my threat to make Cassie watch “American Beauty.” She seemed to like it, and I of course still regard it as genius. With the exception of my comforting Mary through “Apocalypse Now” later that night, this essentially ended my Thanksgiving weekend. I’m going to aim at ceasing my illness sometime this week, but no promises. We’ll see how the week goes- all things considered, this weekend was pretty cool.

RA Training; Class

I’ve now been in Eugene for nearly a month and through the madness of being the mother/father/cop figure for a freshman dor… er, residence hall, I’ve managed to have a pretty good time so far. Sure, there are the downsides- for starters, freshmen are incredibly loud and tend to think that they are right, but for the most part I’ve got a very good hall.

As for other things, I guess that they are good. A lot has changed in the past couple of weeks, but at the same time, nothing has. I guess that as far as cliches go, the adage “the more things change, the more they stay the same” rings especially true right now. Or maybe it’s just a pessimist’s credo. I’m not sure. Either way, things could certainly be a lot worse. I think that I just need to remind myself of that a little more often.

Personal matters aside, class is off to a decent start. A week down, and I’m not too far behind. My classes seem to be pretty interesting, with film in politics running away with my award for “badassness”. It was there the other night that I realized that I want to be Mr. Smith. I will be the small town hayseed that sweeps into Washington, bringing with him naivete and a disgust for all things corrupt. I will knock out the old guard (and newsmen), and I’ll get that Susan Payne!!! Well, maybe not her, but I’ll right the wrongs of corporate America, ease the pain of the nation’s poor and rub elbows with assorted heads of state. Then on my days off, I can phone in to news agencies back home and have my picture broadcast with the line “live from Washington” along the bottom of the screen. Oh yes… the more I think of it, the more right it seems. Hmm… I kind of like the sound of “Senator Pratt.”

Another few weeks without an update and I suddenly find myself in Eugene, thoroughly immersed in the ways of RA-dom. That being the case, this will be a very short update of an update, mainly intended to say that I am indeed alive (though tired)

As for updates, I’ve posted a new journal entry on my writings page. That’s the only bonafide update on this round, so I guess that I should have said “update.” Oh well. I plan to make a more in depth update to the page over the next few nights, as RA training is finally winding to a close.